Technical people are not renowned for their communication skills, especially their ability to listen. Good listening results in better communication, leading to improved sales, reviews, and overall business effectiveness. Here are 11 techniques to improve your communication.
Communication as a Process
Communication is two-way, not one-way. One-way is shouting. Communication starts with a sender who sends a message over a medium to a receiver (or listener). At this point, it is one-way. Think of talking to a teenager. You say something to your teen and get no response, no acknowledgement other than a blank stare that vaguely resembles a lizard.
For there to be true communication, the loop must be closed by feedback. There must be some indication by the receiver that the message was received. Yet, even that does not mean the message was understood correctly. While a nod or smile might be interpreted as acknowledgement by the sender, the sender cannot know if the correct message was received.
Complicating the communication process is noise. This could be a distraction made by a barking dog, crying baby, TV program, glancing at a phone text, or just attention drifting. For example, the customer might be talking to you, but if you are thinking about the number of calls you know are lined up for the day, you are introducing noise to the process.
With the communication process in mind, try the following 11 techniques to listen more effectively.
1. Stop
Stop what you are doing so you can give full attention to the sender. This means putting away your phone and facing the speaker. If you are working under the sink, come out so you can see the sender.
2. Make Eye Contact
If you are not looking someone in the eye, the sender might doubt whether you are really paying attention or not. If you are looking away you send the signal that the sender is not important. Besides, looking someone in the eye is associated with honesty. People often say things like, “I won’t trust a man who won’t look me in the eye.” Never mind the fact that the first thing a con man learns is how to lie while looking someone squarely in the eye.
3. Relax
It is possible to overdo the eye contact. Do not intensely stare down the sender with the look of a serial killer. Relax. Smile. Be casual. Be friendly.
4. Mirror
One of the tried and true methods for making a person feel at ease in a conversation and building rapport is mirroring. Some people, who are more empathetic, do it naturally. Others must work at it. Mirroring means mirroring the body language of the person you are communicating with. For example, if the person you are communicating with leans forward, you lean forward. If the person leans to one side, you lean to one side. Building rapport is part of listening.
5. Be Aware of Body Language
Beyond mirroring, be aware of what your body language is communicating. People will often interpret crossed arms as being closed off. It is defensive. And yet, it might just mean the person is more comfortable with crossed arms. Be aware of negative messages you might be sending and while you should be aware of others’ body language, do not read too much into it. Trust your intuition.
6. Concentrate on What is Being Said
Because the brain processes information faster than we speak, there is a danger of drifting ahead of the sender. You might start formulating a reply before the sender is finished. You might perceive you know what the sender is going to say before he’s finished. In either case, you are no longer listening. One technique to keep focused on the sender’s message is to think about the message in terms of images.
7. Take Notes
One of the best ways to focus on what the sender is attempting to communicate is by taking notes. This is also a good way to retain the message. Furthermore, it communicates genuine interest in what the sender is saying.
8. Do Not Interrupt
Your mother told you it is rude to interrupt others. It’s a bad communication practice too. Do not assume you know what people are going to say before they say it, even if you do. Let them complete their thoughts. The second you start you speak you stop listening. If the sender is one of those people who uses lots and lots of words and talks in roundabout ways before coming the point, be patient. This is not a debate. It is a conversation.
9. Clarify
Once you think you understand the message, clarify it. Ask probing questions. Summarize the message and repeat it back. Say, “So if I can summarize, what you are saying is…” This is one of the most important steps in the communication process because it ensures the loop is closed in the communication model.
10. Minimize Noise
If there is noise interfering with the communication, eliminate or reduce it. Ask to turn off electronics. Ask to move to a quieter place.
11. Remember You Have Two Ears and One Mouth
God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason. Speak and listen proportionately.
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